Just kidding, this is Bruce's handiwork. After calling multiple vets and checking him every ten seconds all day I think he is just fine. Though I still wouldn't recommend keeping oil paint anywhere your dog can get to it.
I took him to the groomer the next day and after four washes they were able to get the majority of the paint out.
When I finally get around to painting this monkey's portrait I'm going to have to give him a yellow leg : )